Regina Man

I’ve taught my daughter the proper names for all her body parts. I think that she should know the real names for things. There is no need to be squeamish about such things. I figure that I should start her young. This is the total opposite of my mother’s approach. Once when I was probably 10 or 11 we were in the sanitary napkin aisle at a drugstore. I asked her where you put a tampon and she got all flustered and told me you put them in your belly button. That left me a little puzzled. A teacher at her previous school taught her to call her vagina her “hinie”. This drove me crazy. Not only is that a silly word and impossible to spell, it usually refers to one’s backside! I’ve only regretted this policy once. That was when she was in the room when I was getting dressed and she suddenly said, “Mommy I love your vagina. It’s so furry!”

At my previous job I would occasionally take phone orders from a Canadian customer. He was a salesman and would call and order various swag items for his accounts all over Canada. He was very exacting and would make sure to carefully spell each name and address for me. Once or twice he sent stuff to the province of Regina. I’ve always pronounced this word like “REH-GEE-NA”. Can you guess how he pronounced it? This is probably the proper pronounciation but it was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing whenever I heard him say it. Let’s hear it for maturity.

P.S. Halloween Update: I can’t believe it but I lost the costume contest at my office by one lousy vote. They must have felt bad because my manager gave me a runner-up prize of $10 cash. The person who won dressed as a bag lady. She walked around the office before the voting closed down reminding everyone to vote. I guess I should have employed a lobbyist myself but I wanted to let my roll of duct tape speak for itself. I had a great time putting it together so I’m not totally disappointed. Just a little bit.


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