This past Friday was my 42nd birthday. Eeeeks! I know that 42 isn’t that old but I still can’t believe it. All in all it was an OK birthday. I had to work and my co-workers got me a cake and a card. I got half of the cake to take home with me but I ended up throwing it out. G and P won’t eat it and I need half of a 12″ cannoli cake like a hole in the head. G got me a couple of blouses for our trip. I love it when he buys me clothes! He has such good taste. We celebrated more officially last night. I thought about going out to dinner but decided to stay home and grill instead. It was a good thing too because P was a beast by dinner time. We’ll do a big celebration at Disney. We’re eating at the Whispering Canyon in our hotel the first night and I’ve heard that they make you do a lot of ridiculous things if you tell them it’s your birthday. It will be fun!

My birthday had a lot of tears this year. I kept thinking about my brother and how I wouldn’t be hearing from him this year or any year. I really miss him. We weren’t the closest but I’m stunned by how much I feel his absence. Everytime I see a picture of him I’m reminded of what a massive waste it is. He was a beautiful person. He had a lot of issues and was troubled but he was so smart and funny and handsome and he was the only one who could really understand me and where I’ve come from. I spoke to my parents twice on Friday. They called and left a message in the afternoon and I listened to it when I got home. It was so typical. You hear my Mother telling me some story about how my uncle from the Phillipines sent an email and he wished me happy birthday. At the end you can hear my Father shrieking at her in the background because she was telling the story wrong or some stupid crap. Why would he think that I’d want to hear that on my birthday? The problem is that sometimes he doesn’t think. Not. At. All. Why did my brother leave me alone with them?

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